Saturday, August 4, 2007

Seven Ways To Make a Nerd Look Really Cool

Let's say you know this chick, and she's a bit of a nerd. She grew up in some town no one has ever heard of, and she always did her homework. She was even the high school valedictorian, which would be more impressive if there had been more than 28 students in her class. Nevertheless, she was definitely a nerd. So how in the world would we make her look cool? After years of research and implementation, here are my top seven suggestions:

1. Get her out of the house. For goodness sake, how can she look cool if no one ever sees her? Fresh air and sunshine are the primary ingredients for a nerd-transformation. The more you add, the better the results.
2. Take her somewhere cool. If you take her somewhere that has been deemed cool by the officials (i.e. Glacier National Park, the Zozobra Festival, Madeira Beach, etc.), she becomes cool by default. And, she has pictures to prove it.

3. Take away her book. I don't care if it's Harry Potter, reading in public is not cool behavior. However, be sure to brush up on your martial arts before attempting this, as you will be engaging in a death match.

4. Give her an RC car to drive. You would be amazed at how much attention this attracts. Suddenly the average, non-descript woman becomes the center of attention. Everyone is fascinated with her amazing "toy", and wants to know how it works. From small children to grown men, suddenly everyone is in awe.

5. Give her an RC boat to drive. This is pretty similar to the RC car concept, but applies to the waterfront setting. Since there is no way she would look cool in a bikini, give her an RC boat and she becomes the center of attention. It's an incredible phenomenon.

6. Put her on a motorcycle. She might be self-conscious at first, but this is a guaranteed way to alter her image. Research has shown that when a person walks into an establishment carrying a motorcyle helmet, he or she is immediately perceived as 500% cooler than those without helmets. It's true, I swear!

7. Have her marry Hunter. And not just any hunter, it has to be Hunter Sheedy. This is the number one way to instantly increase a nerdy chick's coolness factor without fail. Fortunately, I happen to be the lucky nerdy chick who married this incredible guy! And I have to say, I've never been so cool in my whole life. It's amazing what the right guy will do for an innocent bookworm from Henrieville's social status.


ang said...

hmmm....i already thought you were cool. does that make me a nerd?! ;)

Nathan and Esther said...

Sorry, but stating ways that make you cool has the adverse affect and makes you nerdy again...hahahaha. ps. you crack me up!